Boy 2 Girl..hamein to apno ne loota ghairoon me kahan dum tha, meri kishti waha dubi jahaanpaani kam tha,Girl 2 boy…tum to they hi gaandu teri gaand mei kahaan dam thaa, wahaan kiyaa maa chudaaneygaye they jahaan paani kam thaa…
ek pathan bike rok kar helmit kujha raha tha.ek admi bola helmit toutaro.pathan bola tumhara gand mai kahrish hota hay to tum shalwar utar ta haykia ?
Ek baar do SARDAR jhagada kar rahe the.KI EK bola main teri gaand mar lunga.TOH doosra SARDAR BOLA ,dekho PAAJI jhagada kar rahe ho to jhagada kro beech main romantic batin mat karo.
Banta to a girl: Wat's ur name?Girl: Carmen.Banta: Yeh kaisa naam hai?Girl: Becoz I like Cars and men. What's ur name?Banta: CHUTINDER BOOBIYA
Two sardar were walking together...Pehla: Oye marr gaye. Meri biwi aur meri premika ek saath aa rahi hain..Dusra: Oye main bhi yahi bolne wala tha....
Teacher: Santa Pandavoon kay naam batao ?Santa: Ik Bhim "C"Ik odda vada Pra "C"Ik nikka Pra "C"Ik hor "C"Ik da may namm pull gaya "C"
Santa to preeto: "I want to marry you"Preeto: "But I am one year elder to you."Santa: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."
Santa on a blind date with a gori.Santa: Do you object 2 sex?Gori: That’s something I have never done.Santa: What! U r a Virgin?Gori: No, Never Objected!
Santa after interview: Everything went fine till the time he asked me for my testimonials.I guess I showed him the wrong thing!
Banta Complaining: U r so unresponsive, do u use cold cream between your legs?Preeto Taunting: U must be using vanishing cream between yours.
Obscene phone caller: Hello baby, if you can guess what's in my hand I'll let you have it.Preeto: Listen ji, if you can hold it in one hand I'm not interested.
Bra kholi to “shakalaka bumbum”… chaddi kholi to “khul jasimsim”… andar dala to “kya masti kya dhum”… aur bahar aya to “tay tayfish”. Maal zabrdast hai .. !!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
STARTERS....
Sardar’s Son – Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..
Santa : Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.
Banta : Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa : Arre yaar…Sagi behen ki tarah rakhta tha usko!
SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
Santa and Preeto was in Bus.
Preeto : Suniye jee peeche wala aadi mere blouse me haath daal raha hai.
Santa : Oye tu ghabra mat, ussey kya pata batua to mere paas hai.
Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!
Teacher to Student : Last Semester you were roaming
with that girl and this semester you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself?
Boy : Syllabus changed mam.
Ravana : Cigeratte hai kya?
Hanuman : Nahi Hai.
Ram : Ek packet hai na.
Hanuman : Aap chup rahiye prabhu. Iske 10 sir hain.
Pura packet khatam ho jayega.
Santa by mistake goes into a ladies toilet.
All ladies suddenly stand up
Santa : Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai,
Baitho Baitho…:)
Pregnant Sardarni carred ISI mark on her stomach.
When asked why ISI mark..
She replied…ISI means INTELLIGENT SARDAR INSIDE.
Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.
Naukrani paas khade kutte ke paas gayi aur uske paas 10 rs ka note rakh diya.
“Ye kya kar rahi ho?”, Malkin ne pucha.
Naukrani replied : Yehi to ek hai jisne ess ghar me mera saath diya.
Ye na hota to mein ghar me itne bartan kabhi bhi akele saaf na kar pati.
Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega
Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
Angry Santa to Son : Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?
Son : (Neeche dekhte hue) No Papa…
Santa : Neeche mat dekho. Look at me.
Santa to Autodriver : Gurudware Jaoge?
Driver : Haan bilkul jaunga?
Santa ne jeb se polythin nikala aur bola : Wapas aana to mere
liye langar le aana!
Baniya : Kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad raat ko chor aa gaye. Unhone
mujhe khub pita aur murga bhi bana diya.
Wife : To kya aapne shor nahi machaya.
Baniya : Mein kya darpok hu jo shor machaunga!!
SARDAR’s SON: DaddyJI meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.
SARDAR: took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
SARDAR: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.
Teacher: Apka beta cigarate peeta hai. Aap kabhi use puchhte nahi?
Santa: Haan, puchhta hoon, par mujhe kabhi deta hi nahi.
Sardar interview in u.s embassy,
Q ur name please?
A: Baldev Singh
Q: Sex?
A: ji 2 times in a day
Q: I mean male or female?
A: donsnot matter jo mil je ohi Thok di daaa…
A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.
Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?
Waiter: Woh langra tha.
Sardar: Dil?
Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.
Sardar: Dimaag?
Waiter: Murga sardar tha…
SARDAR apne kutte k saath film ‘Sholay’ dekhne gia Hero ne kaha,
“Basanti in kutton k samne mut nachna!” SARDAR bola ”
Ticket lia hai tera to bap bhi nache ga.
Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai toh kia karte ho?
Sardar: AC ke paas ja ke beth jata hoon!
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lagay toh?
Sardar: Toh A/C on kar leta hoon!
sardarji bachche ke sath bazzar main the
bachcha-papa-papa angoor
sardarji-beta ye angoor nahin angoori hai angoor toh
panjab mai milte hai je bade-bade
ghar aakar-mammi ye papa nahin papi hai
papa to panjab mai milte hai je bade-bade
Sardar ki wife in romantic mood
Sardar ki wife romantic mood main pooray bed pr bazu phaila kr lait k boli
“kuch samjhe”?
Sardar: Haan, kameeni.
Tu purey bed pr akeli sona chahti ha….
1 marasi lahore Daata darbar bomb rakhty pakra gaya Logo ne usy mara or pocha k tum ne asa q kia?
Mrasi ki samajh me kuch na aya to bola k: Ma bom rakhnay di mannt manni C
Aik larki apna weight kar rahi thi
aik coin dala to 56 KG
Sandal utara 54
jacket utari 52
dupatta utara 51
coin khatam ho gaye
aik Sardar bola
tu kaam jaari rakh coin main daaley jata hon
Santa : Banta itni sharab na piya karo, tumhari saanso tak se badbu aati hai.
Yehi haal raha to tumhe nark bhi jagah nahi milegi.
Banta : Don’t worry Santa. Saanse to me yehi chorrkar jaunga!!!
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..
Santa : Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.
Banta : Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa : Arre yaar…Sagi behen ki tarah rakhta tha usko!
SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
Santa and Preeto was in Bus.
Preeto : Suniye jee peeche wala aadi mere blouse me haath daal raha hai.
Santa : Oye tu ghabra mat, ussey kya pata batua to mere paas hai.
Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!
Teacher to Student : Last Semester you were roaming
with that girl and this semester you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself?
Boy : Syllabus changed mam.
Ravana : Cigeratte hai kya?
Hanuman : Nahi Hai.
Ram : Ek packet hai na.
Hanuman : Aap chup rahiye prabhu. Iske 10 sir hain.
Pura packet khatam ho jayega.
Santa by mistake goes into a ladies toilet.
All ladies suddenly stand up
Santa : Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai,
Baitho Baitho…:)
Pregnant Sardarni carred ISI mark on her stomach.
When asked why ISI mark..
She replied…ISI means INTELLIGENT SARDAR INSIDE.
Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.
Naukrani paas khade kutte ke paas gayi aur uske paas 10 rs ka note rakh diya.
“Ye kya kar rahi ho?”, Malkin ne pucha.
Naukrani replied : Yehi to ek hai jisne ess ghar me mera saath diya.
Ye na hota to mein ghar me itne bartan kabhi bhi akele saaf na kar pati.
Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega
Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.
Angry Santa to Son : Tumne kabhi ullu dekha hai?
Son : (Neeche dekhte hue) No Papa…
Santa : Neeche mat dekho. Look at me.
Santa to Autodriver : Gurudware Jaoge?
Driver : Haan bilkul jaunga?
Santa ne jeb se polythin nikala aur bola : Wapas aana to mere
liye langar le aana!
Baniya : Kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad raat ko chor aa gaye. Unhone
mujhe khub pita aur murga bhi bana diya.
Wife : To kya aapne shor nahi machaya.
Baniya : Mein kya darpok hu jo shor machaunga!!
SARDAR’s SON: DaddyJI meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.
SARDAR: took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
SARDAR: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.
Teacher: Apka beta cigarate peeta hai. Aap kabhi use puchhte nahi?
Santa: Haan, puchhta hoon, par mujhe kabhi deta hi nahi.
Sardar interview in u.s embassy,
Q ur name please?
A: Baldev Singh
Q: Sex?
A: ji 2 times in a day
Q: I mean male or female?
A: donsnot matter jo mil je ohi Thok di daaa…
A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken and waiter comes with the order.
Sardar: Murgi ki taange kithe hai?
Waiter: Woh langra tha.
Sardar: Dil?
Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee.
Sardar: Dimaag?
Waiter: Murga sardar tha…
SARDAR apne kutte k saath film ‘Sholay’ dekhne gia Hero ne kaha,
“Basanti in kutton k samne mut nachna!” SARDAR bola ”
Ticket lia hai tera to bap bhi nache ga.
Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai toh kia karte ho?
Sardar: AC ke paas ja ke beth jata hoon!
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lagay toh?
Sardar: Toh A/C on kar leta hoon!
sardarji bachche ke sath bazzar main the
bachcha-papa-papa angoor
sardarji-beta ye angoor nahin angoori hai angoor toh
panjab mai milte hai je bade-bade
ghar aakar-mammi ye papa nahin papi hai
papa to panjab mai milte hai je bade-bade
Sardar ki wife in romantic mood
Sardar ki wife romantic mood main pooray bed pr bazu phaila kr lait k boli
“kuch samjhe”?
Sardar: Haan, kameeni.
Tu purey bed pr akeli sona chahti ha….
1 marasi lahore Daata darbar bomb rakhty pakra gaya Logo ne usy mara or pocha k tum ne asa q kia?
Mrasi ki samajh me kuch na aya to bola k: Ma bom rakhnay di mannt manni C
Aik larki apna weight kar rahi thi
aik coin dala to 56 KG
Sandal utara 54
jacket utari 52
dupatta utara 51
coin khatam ho gaye
aik Sardar bola
tu kaam jaari rakh coin main daaley jata hon
Santa : Banta itni sharab na piya karo, tumhari saanso tak se badbu aati hai.
Yehi haal raha to tumhe nark bhi jagah nahi milegi.
Banta : Don’t worry Santa. Saanse to me yehi chorrkar jaunga!!!
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